Episode 3

Remember, anger isn’t the bad guy here. It’s more like a messenger, a signal pointing us towards the parts of our lives that need some attention, some healing. So, next time you feel that anger flare up, don’t shut it down. Listen to it. Try to figure out what it’s trying to tell you. Let it guide you on this journey of self-discovery and finding your own strength.

If you’re ready to take that next step, try starting an ‘Anger Journal.’ Write down those moments when anger shows up. What triggered it? How did it feel in your body? What were you thinking? What needs weren’t being met? This simple practice can help you understand your emotions on a whole new level, and turn that anger into something positive.

Intro

Welcome back, Swifties, to the Oracle chamber. I’m your guide, Tamara, your resident decoder of all things Taylor and the mysteries of the human soul.

Today, we’re going to be looking into what anger is trying to tell us, through the wisdom of psychologist, Dr. Harriet Lerner, and Taylor’s song, Bad Blood, from her 1989 album.

Musical Interlude 

[transition]

Hook

We’ve all felt it. That burning sensation in your chest, the clenching of your fists, the desire to scream or lash out. It’s a feeling that can be both exhilarating and terrifying, often leaving us feeling raw and exposed. But what if, instead of a destructive force, anger is actually a powerful signal trying to guide us?

According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, a renowned psychologist and author of The Dance of Anger, “Anger is a signal, a messenger that alerts us to important issues in our lives and relationships.”

She sees anger not as a villain, but as a wise teacher, offering valuable insights into our deepest needs and desires.

Think of it this way: When you touch a hot stove, your body sends a signal of pain to warn you of danger. Similarly, anger can be a signal that something is amiss in our lives. It might be a message that we’re being hurt, that our boundaries have been crossed, or that our needs aren’t being met.

But here’s the thing: Anger doesn’t just tell us that something is wrong, it also offers clues about what is wrong. It’s like a flashing neon sign pointing us towards the areas of our lives that need attention and healing.

So, how can we decipher this fiery language of anger? How can we learn to listen to its messages without getting burned? And how can we use this understanding to transform our relationships and create a more fulfilling life?

To help us decode the complex emotions surrounding anger, we’re turning to a pop culture phenomenon: Taylor Swift’s hit song “Bad Blood.” We’ll be diving into both the original version and its fiery Kendrick Lamar remix, as well as the visually stunning music video that blends elements of The Matrix and Kill Bill into a dystopian revenge fantasy via a star-studded cast.

“Bad Blood” tells a story of betrayal, hurt, and the burning desire for revenge. It’s a raw and honest expression of anger, capturing the intense emotions that often accompany a fractured relationship. By dissecting the song’s lyrics, melody, and cinematic visuals, we can uncover a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of anger.

But “Bad Blood” isn’t just about wallowing in anger. It also hints at the possibility of healing and moving on. By examining the song’s narrative arc, we can learn how to channel our anger in productive ways and find a path towards resolution.

So, join us as we journey into the heart of “Bad Blood.” Along the way, we’ll discover how to decipher our own anger, transform our relationships, and ultimately, live a more fulfilling life.

Introduction of Theme: Anger’s Message

So, we’ve established that anger is a powerful force, a signal that something needs our attention. But how often do we actually stop and listen to what that signal is trying to tell us?

In our quest to understand anger, we often fall into the trap of judging it. We ask ourselves, “Is my anger justified? Am I allowed to feel this way?” But Dr. Harriet Lerner, in her groundbreaking work on anger, challenges this very notion.

“Anger simply is. To ask, ‘Is my anger legitimate?’ is similar to asking, ‘Do I have a right to be thirsty?’ After all, I just had a glass of water 15 minutes ago. Surely my thirst is not legitimate. And besides, what’s the point of getting thirsty when I can’t get anything to drink now, anyway?”

Just like thirst, anger is a natural human response. It’s a signal that something is out of balance, that a need isn’t being met, or a boundary has been crossed. Denying its existence is like ignoring your body’s signals, and can lead to a whole host of problems.

Many of us fall into one of two patterns when it comes to anger: either we avoid it at all costs, or we let it all hang out. But neither of these approaches truly serves us.

When we suppress our anger, we often do so out of a desire to please others, to keep the peace, or to avoid being seen as “difficult.” But this suppression only pushes the anger deeper, creating a storehouse of resentment and rage that can erupt unexpectedly. 

But the dangers of suppressing anger go beyond explosive outbursts. It can fester beneath the surface, morphing into a chronic state of discontentment, even depression. The unexpressed anger can turn inward, becoming a form of self-hate, eroding our self-esteem and sense of worth.

It’s like a slow poison, seeping into our thoughts and feelings, coloring our perception of the world and ourselves. We might not even recognize it as anger anymore, mistaking it for sadness, apathy, or even physical ailments.

But make no mistake, this buried anger is still there, silently wreaking havoc on our mental and emotional well-being. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and one that can have devastating consequences if left unaddressed.

On the other hand, letting it all hang out – screaming, yelling, lashing out – might provide temporary relief, but it rarely leads to lasting change. It’s like spinning our wheels in the mud, expending a lot of energy without actually moving forward.

In fact, venting anger—either to the person you’re angry at OR to a third-party, like a best friend, can often make things worse.  It may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, ensuring that change does not occur. Venting might feel cathartic in the moment, but it rarely addresses the underlying issues that fueled the anger in the first place.

So, how do we break free from these patterns? How do we learn to listen to our anger, to understand its message, and to use it as a catalyst for growth?

It starts with acknowledging and allowing ourselves to feel the feeling. That’s where “Bad Blood” comes in. It gives voice to the raw, unfiltered emotions we often suppress. Whether you’re singing along at the top of your lungs or simply letting the melody wash over you, “Bad Blood” offers a safe space to release pent-up anger and frustration, paving the way for emotional healing.

Beyond its cathartic release, the song acts as a mirror, reflecting our own experiences with betrayal and broken trust. Its cast of characters – the betrayed friend, the manipulative villain, the empowered avenger – tap into universal archetypes that resonate deep within our unconscious. We see ourselves in these characters, our own relationships reflected in their struggles.

Perhaps you identify with the narrator, the betrayed friend, and find solace in the lyrics that echo your own pain. Or maybe you project your anger onto the villain, and release pent-up frustration without direct confrontation. Some of us might even resonate with the desire for revenge, and experience a vicarious sense of empowerment through the song’s defiant spirit.

So, we’ve felt the burn of “Bad Blood,” we’ve connected with its raw portrayal of anger. Now what? How do we take this emotional energy and turn it into something constructive? It starts by shifting our perspective. Instead of seeing anger as an enemy, let’s approach it with curiosity, as a messenger trying to tell us something important.

Ask yourself those tough questions: What about this situation truly makes me angry? What’s the core issue here? What am I hoping to achieve? Dig deeper into your own thoughts and feelings, your priorities, values, and choices. This isn’t about placing blame, it’s about gaining clarity. It’s about understanding what you need, what you want, and what you’re willing to tolerate.

Remember, you can’t control someone else’s actions or change their behavior. Trying to do so is like spinning your wheels – exhausting and ultimately fruitless. Focus your energy on what you can control: your own responses, your own boundaries, your own choices.

But here’s the thing: facing your anger honestly can be risky. It might reveal uncomfortable truths about your relationships or situations. You might realize that someone you care about won’t change, or that a situation you’ve been holding onto isn’t serving you anymore. And that’s okay. These are painful realities, but accepting them is the first step towards growth and change.

Once you’ve identified the source of your anger and acknowledged your own needs, it’s time to rewrite the script. Let go of the idea that you’re responsible for others’ feelings or that they are responsible for yours. You’re not. Own your anger, own your choices.

From this place of clarity and self-awareness, you can make powerful decisions. You can choose to express your hurt openly, establish firm boundaries to protect yourself, release unrealistic expectations, or even step away from a harmful situation. And while “Bad Blood” might be about revenge, it also hints at the possibility of forgiveness and healing. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, but it does mean letting go of the anger that’s holding you back. It means reclaiming your power and choosing peace.

Let’s talk about Taylor Swift and Katy Perry for a second. Remember their big feud? The one everyone thinks inspired ‘Bad Blood’? Well, it turns out they actually buried the hatchet and became friends again. After years of not getting along, Katy made a really big gesture. She sent Taylor a real, actual olive branch – talk about symbolism, right? – along with a handwritten apology. That was a huge step towards healing their friendship. And eventually, it led to something really cool: Katy made a cameo in Taylor’s ‘You Need to Calm Down’ video. That was like a visual representation of them putting the past behind them and moving forward as friends.

Their story, like the song itself, demonstrates that even in the depths of conflict, there’s potential for growth, healing, and a new beginning.

And with that, let’s explore anger’s message in Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood…

Musical Interlude 

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Song Analysis

Now, the title itself, ‘Bad Blood,’ packs a punch, right? You hear those two words, and you instantly think of, well, bad feelings, conflict, maybe even a little bit of drama. But here’s the thing: Taylor Swift didn’t just make this up. Turns out, the phrase ‘bad blood’ has a pretty interesting history behind it.

Way back in the day, people actually believed that our emotions were carried in our blood. So, if you had ‘bad blood,’ it literally meant you had bad, or negative, feelings. There were similar phrases floating around for centuries – like ‘ill blood’ – but it was this English writer named Charles Lamb who really made ‘bad blood’ popular in the way we use it today, all the way back in 1823. 

Swift’s song cleverly taps into this rich history, instantly pulling us into a narrative of betrayal and escalating conflict with its opening lines, which also serve as the chorus.

‘Cause baby, now we got bad blood
You know it used to be mad love
So take a look what you’ve done
‘Cause baby, now we got bad blood (hey!)

Now, in the original version of ‘Bad Blood,’ Taylor really digs into this idea of a friendship that’s completely shattered. She makes it clear that the damage is serious, and getting back to how things were seems pretty much impossible. When she sings, ‘Now we got problems / And I don’t think we can solve them,’ you can practically feel the hopelessness in her voice. And then there’s that line, ‘You made a really deep cut.’ That one hits hard, right? It shows just how deep the betrayal went, and the kind of emotional scar it left behind.

Now we got problems
And I don’t think we can solve them
You made a really deep cut
And, baby, now we got bad blood, hey

It’s at this point that there’s a fork in the road between the original version and the remix, featuring Kendrick Lamar—which is my favorite.

Now, in the original ‘Bad Blood,’ Taylor’s lyrics are brutal, like a knife to the heart. She doesn’t hold back in painting this raw, vivid picture of betrayal. It’s like she’s tapping into that universal feeling of having your trust shattered – the disbelief, the disappointment, the realization that this friendship you treasured is just… gone. And when she asks those questions – ‘Did you have to do this?’ ‘Did you have to ruin what was shiny?’ – it’s like she’s voicing the pain of anyone who’s ever been deeply hurt.

The images she paints are so vivid, they almost haunt you. A shiny thing, now rusted and ruined. A wound rubbed raw with salt. The cruel laughter of someone who betrayed you. These aren’t just words in a song; they’re emotional snapshots that cut deep, and anyone listening can probably relate to them on some level.

Did you have to do this?
I was thinking that you could be trusted
Did you have to ruin
What was shiny? Now it’s all rusted
Did you have to hit me
Where I’m weak? Baby, I couldn’t breathe
And rub it in so deep
Salt in the wound like you’re laughin’ right at me

Kendrick Lamar’s verse in the ‘Bad Blood’ remix, it cuts right to the heart of that betrayal theme. But it’s not just a repeat of what Taylor’s saying. Kendrick takes it to his own personal space, showing us how complex this whole experience can be.

He gets it, the damage is done. There’s no going back to how things were. He even looks back on a time when things were good, when the connection felt real. But then he goes deeper. He wonders if maybe he cared too much, gave too much attention. He calls it a ‘TLC overdose.’ That line’s open to interpretation, but maybe he felt taken for granted, like his efforts weren’t appreciated.

Then, he compares their whole situation to war-torn Iraq. It’s chaotic, it’s destructive. He makes it clear, though, he’s not coming from a place of hate. He just needs to set the record straight, to correct this blown-up image of the other person.

Through his lyrics, you can hear Kendrick finding some release, some healing. He’s facing the pain, the disappointment, the realization that the other person wasn’t who he thought they were. He’s lost love, fear, respect… but he’s also found a way to let go, to move on.

Now, give it a listen yourself. See what you hear in Kendrick’s words.

[Verse 1: Kendrick Lamar]
I can’t take it back, look where I’m at (Uh)
We was OG like D.O.C., remember that? (Remember that?)
My TLC was quite OD, ID my facts (ID my)
Now POV of you and me, similar Iraq
I don’t hate you, but I hate to critique, overrate you
These beats of a dark heart, use basslines to replace you
Take time and erase you, love don’t hear no more
No, I don’t fear no more
Better yet, respect ain’t quite sincere no more, ah!

Now, both the original and the remix of ‘Bad Blood’ come back together in this shared pre-chorus. But here’s where things get interesting – the whole vibe shifts. It’s not angry anymore, it’s more… melancholic, nostalgic even. And that change tells us something important about how we deal with betrayal. You see, a lot of times, sadness is hiding underneath all that anger. Anger can feel strong, powerful, but sadness? That leaves you feeling raw, exposed.

When Taylor sings, ‘Oh, it’s so sad to think about the good times, you and I,’ it just wrecks you.  It’s like this bittersweet truth about betrayal: the closer you were to someone, the more it hurts when they let you down. It’s a tough reminder that sometimes, the people who hurt us the most are the ones we once cared about the most.

[Pre-Chorus]

Oh, it’s so sad to

Think about the good times

You and I

And then, boom – the chorus hits again. It’s like this wave of pure emotion crashing over you. Hearing ‘bad blood’ over and over, it really drives home just how deep this divide is. And that contrast between ‘mad love’ and how things are now? It’s heartbreaking. It shows how much has been lost, how much has changed.

[Chorus]
‘Cause, baby, now we got bad blood
You know it used to be mad love
So take a look what you’ve done
‘Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
Now we got problems
And I don’t think we can solve them
You made a really deep cut
And, baby, now we got bad blood, hey

Now, the song splits off again, each artist going back to their own story of betrayal.

For Taylor, it’s like she’s still dealing with the aftermath. 

The second verse really focuses on how this betrayal has stuck with her. When she sings ‘Still got scars on my back from your knife’ and ‘These kinda wounds, they last and they last’, you get it – this pain isn’t going away anytime soon. It’s tough to heal from something like that. But it’s also through looking back that she figures things out. She knows where she stands now, and she’s ready to move on, to protect herself from getting hurt again.

[Verse 2]
Did you think we’d be fine?
Still got scars on my back from your knife
So don’t think it’s in the past
These kinda wounds, they last and they last
Now, did you think it all through?
All these things will catch up to you
And time can heal, but this won’t
So if you’re comin’ my way, just don’t

Now, in his second verse, Kendrick Lamar keeps digging into that heavy feeling of betrayal. He takes us back to a time when this other person looked down on him, tried to brush him off, thought he’d fall apart without them. But Kendrick’s having none of it. This is where he stands up for himself, big time. He realizes he’s strong enough on his own, he doesn’t need their approval or support. It’s a powerful moment, him basically saying, “I’m good enough, even without you.”

And then he drops this line that’ll give you chills: “And you gotta live with the bad blood now.” That’s not just a threat, it’s like… a cold, hard truth. The person who did the betraying, they’re stuck with the mess they made. They poisoned their own well, and now they have to deal with it. It’s a serious reminder that our actions have consequences, and sometimes, those consequences last a long, long time.

[Verse 2: Kendrick Lamar]
Remember when you tried to write me off? (Uh-huh)
Remember when you thought I’d take a loss?
Don’t you remember? You thought that I would need ya
Follow procedure, remember? Oh, wait, you got amnesia
It was my season for battle wounds, battle scars, body bumped, bruised
Stabbed in the back; brimstone, fire jumping through
Still, love my life, I got money and power
And you gotta live with the bad blood now

Now, when we get to the bridge of ‘Bad Blood’, the whole mood changes. It’s not about blame anymore, it’s about those deep scars that betrayal leaves behind. The lyrics paint this picture of wounds that are just too deep for a simple ‘sorry’ to fix. It’s like the ghosts of that broken past are still hanging around.

This bridge is a moment to really think about things. It’s about how forgiveness is complicated, and how betrayal can stick with you. You might say you forgive someone, but truly letting go? That’s a whole other story. It’s this chilling reminder that love built on lies can turn cold, and that’s a hard pill to swallow.”

[Bridge: Taylor Swift, Kendrick Lamar & Both]
Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes
You say sorry just for show
If you live like that, you live with ghosts
You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go
Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes (Yeah)
You say sorry just for show (Uh-huh)
If you live like that, you live with ghosts, mm (Uh, uh)
If you love like that, blood runs cold

Now, as the song builds up to that big, extended chorus, it’s like it’s mirroring how our emotions work, especially when it comes to anger and betrayal. These feelings, they don’t just follow a straight line. They come and go, they pop up again when you least expect it, they change over time. It’s impossible to wrap all that up neatly in a three-and-a-half-minute song, but ‘Bad Blood’ does something really important: it gives us a space to feel those emotions, to understand them a little better.

When we listen to Taylor and Kendrick’s verses, along with that chorus that ties it all together, we get a glimpse into how messy and complicated anger can be. We see them using that anger as a signal to stop, take a step back, and set some boundaries. We hear the raw hurt and betrayal, but then we also see them slowly moving towards clarity and finding their own strength.

The song might not give us a perfect ending, tied up with a bow, but it does leave us feeling a little bit lighter, like we’ve let some of that stuff out. And maybe, just maybe, we understand our own emotions a little bit better after listening to it.

Closure

As that last note of ‘Bad Blood’ fades out, we’re left with this powerful takeaway: Anger, just like the song itself, it’s not simple. It’s got layers, it’s got depth. Sure, it can be destructive, but it can also be this amazing fuel for growth, for healing, even for transforming yourself.

The key is, we gotta acknowledge our anger. We gotta dig into where it’s coming from, and learn how to express it in ways that are healthy. That’s how we break free from those old patterns that aren’t serving us, and start building relationships that actually feel good. We take back our power, we set boundaries, we start living a life that’s more real, more true to who we are.

Remember, anger isn’t the bad guy here. It’s more like a messenger, a signal pointing us towards the parts of our lives that need some attention, some healing. So, next time you feel that anger flare up, don’t shut it down. Listen to it. Try to figure out what it’s trying to tell you. Let it guide you on this journey of self-discovery and finding your own strength.

If you’re ready to take that next step, try starting an ‘Anger Journal.’ Write down those moments when anger shows up. What triggered it? How did it feel in your body? What were you thinking? What needs weren’t being met? This simple practice can help you understand your emotions on a whole new level, and turn that anger into something positive.

Thanks for joining me on this journey through the message of anger. We hope it’s been one of self-discovery, healing, and finding your power. And until next time, remember: even in the middle of all that ‘Bad Blood,’ there’s always a chance for a brighter, better future.